Trauma Therapy and Survivor Symptoms
Guest Post: It can be really tough to try to make sense of a past trauma and how it effects you in the here and now. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) has a specific set of symptoms, such as nightmares and flashbacks. But the reality of complex trauma resulting from repeated traumatic events is that the effects go far beyond the symptoms outlined in the DSM. One of the first steps in healing from trauma is to understand the problems that you are having in your life and how they might relate back to the traumas. Not every problem originates with trauma, but there are some problems that originate with trauma that you might not expect. Trauma therapy can help.
Read Full Article at RachelintheOC.com
Is it bad if have all of these things?
Hi Barbara. It’s more than possible to have all or most of these symptoms. When I start working with a person who has experienced trauma I show them this chart and ask them what problems they have in their life. Often they say it’s easier to name the problems they don’t have instead. I highly recommend seeking assistance from someone who has training in working with trauma to reduce some of these problems. Linnea
But what if you don’t have access to someone skilled with complex trauma. Generally, it seems you have to have amazing insurance or private pay. I don’t have that option but have sought after finding someone for a long while. On movies you see people do pro bono or work with people. Unfortunately that isn’t reality. I was able to see someone years ago through a home within (they find private practice people and provide lifetime psychotherapy to former foster youth) they no longer have anyone in my area…
You’re absolutely right Alexxa. There aren’t enough people trained in working with complex trauma and they typically are in private practice and don’t take insurance. Some will offer a sliding scale, which I do in some circumstances (such as if someone is on disability). I also have done some pro bono work but it’s the exception rather than the rule. A Home Within is a great program. I’m sorry that there is no one in your area anymore. Perhaps that will change in the future.
Many people have no idea how people can be affected by being hurt by another person, and blame the victim for symptoms like lack of ability to be organized, lack of focus and concentration, self-sabotaging behaviors etc. People can have chronic traumatic stress syndrome even if the person who harmed them did not use physical violence.
Hi Christine,
You are absolutely right, emotional trauma can be as painful as physical trauma and sometimes more so. Physical scars heal, the scars from emotional trauma are hidden. Traumatic stress is often misunderstood as only being caused by physical violence. Thank you for commenting on this important topic.
Linnea
Living daily with the symptoms of trauma are depression inducing at times. Awareness, is helpful. Labeling things with a scientific meaning gives it value in that it helps. It helps me to understand my symptoms not as failure, but just is. If we break a bone or have a brain injury due to a car accident, it isn’t society labeled as "crazy". Whereas victims of violent trauma also have to swim through the stigma of being "forever broken" mentally. Thank you for this chart, so that I may share with others and educate them, even just a little bit on the physical aspects of this disorder.
Hi Michelle. You are not broken and not crazy. I’m so glad that you see that and that you were able to take meaning from the article. Education helps us understand and understanding helps us cope.
Warmly,
Linnea
This diagram is very good but more so is your words above that mention the "effects of trauma in the here and now." Trauma affects a persons lifetime often without them even being aware of it, or living their life "numb" and directed by what they believe they "should or are supposed to do" with their lives. Very often I see situations where women that grew up with toxic stress or trauma and married seeking the safety of that union. When in fact it backfires in other problems because they made their choice for the wrong reasons, out of numbness and not a clear definition of who they are based on living with toxic stress, abuse and other situations. Through my own healing, I realized in mid life that I’d lived my life in avoidance and numb. This is a very real scenario that we need to raise awareness too if we are to help girls grow into strong independent women and leaders. What happened yesterday does not have to define us, but we must change the stigma of mental health so that the veil can be lifted. Important Blog Linnea, I’m glad I found you.
Thank you so much for your kind comments. I’m glad that the blog resonated with you and your experience, and I’m glad that you have found your healing path. Everyone walks a different path toward wholeness. If you are interested in breaking stigma, you might want to also look into NAMI (National Institute of Mental Illness). They do some wonderful work in that area.
Warm regards,
Linnea
Sorry about my previous post. This diagram is me to a tee! I have been in therapy almost 3 years now. And the last with a psychotherapist who specializes in PTSD and Trauma. I always knew there something wrong with me and only through her help have I been able to put a name to everything that was my life. It is so important when seeking the help of a professional that they are skilled in our needs. All too often we are diagnosed with other disorders. We present with all these symptoms but a skilled professional will see what’s not on the surface. This is no picnic. At times it’s very painful. But what’s the alternative? Continue to live my life the way I have and that is not an option for me. I’m pissed off that I’ve been robbed of my childhood and not given the tools I needed to lead a "happy/productive" life , but there is nothing I can do about the past. I can only move forward. Today I know it’s not too late at 44 to have the life I want. And now I can see a glimmer at the end of the tunnel
Hi Jennifer.
It’s never too late and I’m so happy that you found a therapist who can see the full picture and help you. Trauma and PTSD are often misdiagnosed as other disorders and as a result go untreated. This can be so confusing and frustrating. Hold on to that glimmer and you will find your way through.
Warmly,
Linnea
I’ve had many of these problems… I hope to eventually heal from all of my past traumas, and feel somewhat normal.
I wish you all the best in your healing journey Jennifer.
Wow. I have and have had many, many, many traumas and the symptoms listed. I’m 56 and through therapy, and spiritual practices and a pill, yes a pill reluctantly, but never the less alive because of it… I’ve learned that all I can do is manage. I never learned to love myself, not really. The earliest traumas, well, one is when my mother pushed me off her when I tried to sit in her lap too while she was holding my new little sister and she said something to the effect of ‘get off me, don’t try to (freak?) on me’.. Now I’m 6. I didn’t know what she meant. All I knew and felt was rejection from her. She too suffered many traumas. So I assume it was a projection. Now at 13 after getting in trouble at school for hitting a girl (projecting), she tells me to get out of her house. I begged and cried and stood in my closet in my room and she dragged me and pushed me out and when I was sitting on the front porch steps she told me to LEAVE (she screamed), telling me to not come back. This was in the evening. Where the hell was I gonna go? It was horrific and traumatizing. I ended up at the drug store sitting in the booth (there was a deli in there) crying my eyes out until the store was closing and the security officer was like "uhh, you have to go. do you have anywhere to go?" and I told him the situation and how I didn’t want to go home or couldn’t and on and on. But he insisted and took me home where when I got there, my dad was questioning my mom about where I was. It was hell. He was so mad at her. And we won’t talk about the beatings and humiliations. The emotional abuse. and on and on… It’s no wonder how I am suffering from arrested development. I seem fine but I never was able to secure a real relationship, have children, success and the ability to take very good care of myself. It’s been an awful road to hoe. But I am better these days and am getting better and better everyday. The fact that I can write this is an indication.. I guess. I mean I am good in some ways, not so much in others… I practice meditation, breathwork, and visualization. I got a real estate license and am positive I will be successful at that. I am good publicly, not so good intimately. There is still work to do… oy..
Hi Ciele,
I’m so glad you are here are are working through your healing process. It comes in small steps and each small success fuels the next one. I wish you all the best in your healing journey.
Warmly,
Linnea
God Bless you Cielle
Cielle, amazed at some of our similarities. I am 56 too and left my husband after emotional abuse and his child abuse when my daughters were 6 and 2 years old. I am the only daughter with 3 older brothers. My mother has always been jealous of any woman near Dad. At 47 years I had a brain aneurysm/stoke, when my youngest phoned the hospital, for the 3rd time. She was only 12, and no one would listen to her; she was only told by her father and 16 year old sister 3 days later. I spent 9 days in intensive care. The brain damage causes grand mal Seizures, only if I have to see my Ex again at 21’st and performances. I meditate too, do breathwork to fall asleep and visualizations. My ex lives in London now so wont have a Seizures! I love where I rent with views 4 sides, I swim every day in Summer and ride my bike in winter. My Mum has dementure and is looked after by poor Dad. It is funny how you say "that is gone, it is in the past", but your body takes over. I am just so glad I am alive and have great discussions with my Daughters, achieving at 21 and 25!
I can relate to this because of my childhood, a mother who couldn’t look at me, gave me away when I was born "because she could stand being around me", and later in life I married someone who controlled everything I did, ie when to eat, use the bathroom, sleep, I slept with a knife laid across my throat, so he would know when I moved, it goes on and on, I am on medication and I see a therapist, but it has been a long road, I seem better sometimes and then I slip back in my dissociation, I can’t remember, have flashbacks, nightmares, it goes on and on and never stops.
I meant to say my mother couldn’t stand being around me, she had cheated on the man she was married to and became pregnant with me.
For me also is isolation
I used to have all that shiit. I don’t miss it, let me tell you. I don’t think I agree with the lede though. Part of the symptoms are flashbacks, and those are memories that are encapsulted. I was just talking to my partner this morning on our walk about epigenetic trauma and if we need to alter our treatment at all to acommodate for it. Doesn’t seem so at this point. The body is wondrous in that it can release epigenetic and developmental traumas, though we are looking at the memory vs. nervous system activation level with epigenetic trauma.
What I do know is that my life has changed 100%. No pills, no therapy, just learned how to self-regulate a somatic tool, so a few months that had more anxiety than I liked, but a small price to pay in my eyes. I had C-PTSD on top of which I added my experiences as a firefighter/EMT. When I say I changed, boy howdy.
There is hope my friends. IMO, the issue is far more in your body than your brain. It can be cured, not just managed. I’m happy to discuss it with anyone. Even if you just need a set of ears for a while.
Hi Leckey,
thanks for what you wrote . I am intrigued and want to know much more about what yo are referring to here when you wrote "No pills, no therapy, just learned how to self-regulate a somatic tool, so a few months that had more anxiety than I liked, but a small price to pay in my eyes. "
What is the somatic tool you are referring to?
I have come to realize that it’s my nervous system activation level that is creating a lot of problems for me. If I manage to calm that down, it’s amazing how well I do. What specifically have you done to alleviate this?
Looking forward to your reply. Thanks so much
TRE trauma releasing exercises
Up until this year I did not realize that I had C-PTSD. I knew I had some sort of PTSD and at some point I a doctor told that is was mild. My issue is that most professional think I am fine I have children, a supportive husband, and self employed. Yes I am very blessed but I still have nightmares and are triggered by stress. I have gone to therapy on 3 seperate occasion and have been able to manage my symptoms. Just because I am not an addict or some sort, or on any medication, or falling apart, or not abusing my children does mean that I am ok.
I never thought that my ptsd could be exacerbating my anxiety disorder and suddely after reading your comment, my life make so much more sense. Thanks for sharing your words.
Thank you for saying this.. I wish people could understand that its not that we want to be in this space.. I am dealing with the same thing.. People don’t understand. I have been told taking my medication will ruin my health. I rather be alive and watch my kids grow than not being there physically oor emotionally. I have triggers. thank you
Thank you for your comments. You are spot on. There are some very good books on Complex PTSD by Peter Walker. You might find some understanding and solace there.
Does it really get easier? My 11 yr old sons is so severe it is affecting every minute of his his in school and at home.
Him,my other children and I are tired. My relationship has broken down. He is set to go to a specialist school hopefully is he can’t even cope with an hr of mainstream.
Therapist here. Please take your kiddo to a good child counselor or psychologist. There are several forms of therapy designed specifically for kids to help them cope with and heal from trauma. PTSD does not have to be a permanent diagnosis, but does get worse with avoidance. Best if the child has adequate involvement of parents treatment, too. The counselor ca only do so much in the hour the kid is seen, so it’s important for the family to reinforce what is learned at therapy in the home. Your family physician should be able to recommend some therapists in your area, or check with your insurance company. I hope that helps!
So sorry you and your family are going through this. It is so extremely difficult and painful for all involved. I work at Calo with youth with developmental trauma and wanted to reach out and let you know that you are not alone.
You forgot Catastrophizing.
I second that.
I was involved in 30 yrs of pre-hospital care as an EMT, I have seen and heard of many who suffer. I wish I could understand why the same experiences affect people differently. Myself, I am a happy , healthy , well adjusted middle aged male, I just wish I knew the difference so as to help those that suffer so much..
How long have you been in EMS? Usually it’s when you quit it and slow down in your life that you finally see and feel it. If you never "get" it, have open arms for anyone who does. Give them someone to lean on when they’re ready.
I have gotten two major traumas in life, one from sexual harassment and bullying as a child, and one from a fatal car accident. Now with over 40 years I develop an understanding. Furthermore, I am a volunteer in civil protection and disaster aid.
All trauma has a meaning in the sense of being interpreted by the brain. We feel powerless, exposed, and other meanings in life get shattered. In combination with the medical model of residing patterns in the amygdalas, this means that trauma is a complex internal and external emergency of meanings and relationships. Healing requires long-term, painful, effort-rich renegotiation of one’s being with the rest of the world, which includes family, friends, culture – everything. It’s a life process, and considering theories of intergenerational conditioning and epigenetics, it spans across generations.
What has helped me most in the acute phases were when people made me feel safe, contained their own fears, and did not judge me whatsoever. Then I could find expression and relaxation, which in turn allowed me to see the world from a different angle. In retrospection, this was the underlying principle in every minor and major step I have made. I have done a lot, I travelled, I stayed in a clinic, I got medication which gave me a time-out from panic, I did ergo-therapy allowing me to experience and feel myself newly, I got a new job, and I re-debate my sense in life which leads me away from an industrial society towards a more connected, vernacular being.
As an EMT you will find people in the acute moments. Whether by talking, listening, physical action, or reaching out a hand: besides medical intervention, the following things can be helpful:
– Provide a safe space ("you are safe now")
– Prevent further traumatising impressions (don’t let them watch the horror)
– Talk. A great outcome is when the perception of safety starts to extend into the future. This happens by talking about the next steps, what to do, and where a patient might be going. This way the feeling of exposure decreases and the perception of control and ability to act increases. It is of particular importance everytime a patient is "handed-over".
– You might want to interrupt self-destructive behaviour, not by force but by redirecting attention. That needs professionalism, because it can go wrong.
– Be a human, empathic counterpart (but never forget to care about yourself)
– Simply be there. People might want or need to do something right now. If they know they have somebody to return to for the moment it’s great.
Beautifully said!
Hi Peter,
A great way to educate yourself is by reading books on trauma. Try Waking the Tiger by Peter Levine and Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk. In the meantime, your compassion goes a long way. Thank you for your comments.
Hi Everyone. My husband has been diagnosed with PTSD after he was knocked out and beaten by our neighbour when he went over to help out in a domestic violence situation. His sense of security is greatly challenged. Reading the behaviours above, I can now see why we have come to the place that we are currently. He has just moved to the country, to live off the grid for a bit, to try and reconnect himself. He had withdrawn emotionally, had knives and machetes and axes stashed all over our home and yard. He slept with a knife under his pillow. It was extremely challenging to live with him once he had withdrawn emotionally and started the substance abuse. Through our discussions I discovered that there were a lot of childhood issues that had surfaced through this latest abuse, some he can’t remember but knows happened because the perpetrator told him or he has a vague memory but nothing definable. I asked him to leave because I was finding it so painful to be shut out of his life. But reading the symptoms I wonder if I should have been more supportive. I was told by several drug counsellors that was the best pathway to get him to rock bottom so he could start a healing process. Reading the symptoms it now feels cruel. Not really sure where to go from here. Putting him under pressure, actually caused the man I loved to re-emerge for a day or two. But I am not sure how sustainable that is. He is on meds but refuses therapy. Says he can work it out, himself and God. I wonder if I have helped him by putting him a position where he has now chosen to go and live on an isolated property with no creature comforts?
You can’t force him to face the demons. He will only do so when he’s ready, so in the meantime just love him. You may suggest that he read some books on trauma as well. A good place to start is Waking the Tiger by Peter Levine.
One year ago today my 35 yr old son was found dead in his car. Suicide by overdose . My motherin law died the same week and my daughter was married on the beach that week also .I can’t remember who was at the funerals or much of the wedding . Diagnosed with PTSD 3 mo later. Don’t like cymbalta but make my own "brownies". I’m finding more joy with Jesus help, but find it difficult to avoid visions of my sons alcoholic madness near the end of his life in my basement…holes punched in walls, fake noose hung from ceiling. My tough love mom response was to kick him out . He lived and died in his car . Now it’s difficult to drive by SAMs Club parking lot where he was found but I have to . I must choose not to dwell on these surfacing memories. I also have to do my laundry in the same room as his bedroom . I decided to give his clothes to good will last week. I can choose to look for new normal in my future . The anniversary is tough today 😒😢
God bless your Son, you must believe that his troubled mind is at rest now. My prayers for today are for you both. Marian in Ireland xx
I’m so sorry for your loss. Anniversaries can be agony, especially in a situation such as this. If you haven’t already, I strongly suggest seeking a grief counselor. You may be able to find trained grief peer counselors in your area. You may also want to try Alanon meetings. You need support during this time. Warmly, Linnea
I know I had paid because I felt everything on the chart. I had a relatively normal childhood. I’ve always been a very sensitive person. In my teen years my parents divorced and I ended up in an abusive relationship that lead into my adult life I married a man that was later labeled as highly narcissistic. It took me years to come out of it. At one point my kids and I had a victory, I let my guard down and then he illegally kidnapped our youngest son and manipulated our other 2 sons into thinking it was okay….which lead to more trauma and guilt for them as they seen the truth. It’s sad to see him hurt them one by one. I made up excuses for him for years. Most people want to believe the best and be treated well by family esp. The book the 4 Agreements has helped me tremendously. Each time I start to feel victimized because of some kind of ass(ociation) with him I evaluate the situation and stand up for myself which translates what can I do to find a solution that takes me out of this victimization role…I don’t belong here, therefore I choose to go to a better place. I use these times which are much fewer and far in between now as stepping stones to where I’m going. My life gets better and better, I’ve had miracles even happen…those are what I focus on if I’m having a bad moment. My dreams are coming true. I always find something to be grateful for. I know I have grown because I share the trauma less and less and when I do I dont feel all the sadness and hurt I once did. Ty for this post. I refuse to keep living in the hurt/past and let it ruin/Rob (his name is Rob) the rest of my life. What’s done is done I can learn from it and all that is offered to me each and everyday. Alki Alki…hope for the future…each and everyday.
Hi Lorna,
Thank you for your comment. I honor your courage in the face of these tragedies and am glad that the chart was helpful. Keep reading inspirational books and keep moving forward. I recommend Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach if you haven’t already read it. Best wishes, Linnea
Spelling correction. I know I had PTSD. Also the ex (I no longer use the word my because that implys some kind of attatcment) has has severed contact with our only daughter who is only 16. Not quiet sure what to think about this.
I am 50 & suffering from almost all of the above. My parents died of murder/suicide when I was 5 years old. I’ve led a fairly normal life with only a few issues listed above. My nephew committed suicide a few years ago & it was pretty traumatic watching him pass in the hospital after life support was removed. I really haven’t been the same since then. I’m wondering if perhaps that event has "stirred" things up from my past. I have no memory of my parents or their death. My brothers & myself were in the same house when it happened. Is it possible that this is finally catching up to me? I continually have gruesome thoughts of my loved ones dying. What would I do if I found my husband dead? What if one of my son’s died? Thought I was having heart problems for 2 years & finally realized it’s anxiety attacks. I’m really struggling with work, life in general, bouts of crying, etc,
Hi Sue,
Yes, it is entirely possible that the recent tragedies have stirred up things from the past that you thought you had moved past. I recommend seeking a grief counselor or a trauma therapist. There are some organizations that offer free peer led grief counseling, or you can seek a licensed therapist. There are listing on psychologytoday.com. I wish you the best.
I am hoping to find some answers for me. I had some terrible experiences in my childhood and marriages. I lost three of my children and was so lucky as to see them again when they came to find me. For a few years it was like heaven, and then they left. Turned their back on me. Stopped me seeing my 3 year old grandson, just like I lost them, and now there is another baby on the way which i will never see. I am gradually slowing and slowing down, my health is deteriorating and I have been assessed as having Dyspraxia and ADD. I told the family hoping they would understand why I have struggled sometimes but noone cared. I have one child at home but she has to choose between having all her family or being with me. I have let her make contact and now I can see a future completely alone. I lost both my parents to cancer and have noone now.
How do you survive so much pain? I started studying to try and dull the pain and build a future, but I don’t really care truly. Each thing I try to do to start afresh is so heavy i cant lift it.
To cap it all my daughter with the children has welcomed one of my friends as a sort-of Nana, saying the children need a grandparent, so I am abandoned by two generations. My heart hearts so much I feel ill and nothing will make it better. I dont want to fill up on pills as the problem will still be there afterwards. How do I really heal? and how do I go on?
Hi Margaret,
I’m so sorry that you have experienced so much pain. There is a way to heal, but you will probably need some guidance along the way. The web is a fantastic tool for educating yourself but it cannot replace a good therapist. I recommend you seek out someone who is knowledgeable in this area. You can find a listing if therapists at psychologytoday.com. I wish you the best.
My work is as a trauma therapist and survivor. Joining this blog. Thanks!
Hi Claire. Thanks for joining. We need trauma therapists who are survivors – that’s really the best way to work. I wish you the best!
I work alongside children who have been abused, and I teach medical students – particularly the ways in which they need to recognise the signs of abuse. This work has come about as a direct result of being abused myself as a child. Cathy –
Hi Cathy. I find that most trauma therapists have recovered from their own trauma and use it to inform their work. Wonderful that you are working with children. I wish you all the best in your work. Linnea