No one has a perfect childhood, no one. Even if you had a good childhood, you also had painful experiences that shaped you in adulthood. You tell yourself lies about yourself and the world around you. That doesn't mean that you had bad parents, or that they didn't care. The reality is that there is no handbook or class to prepare you for being a parent. Parents make mistakes, and that's OK. They do the best they can. And sometimes it's not enough.
I spent many years working in public mental health with people who have serious, chronic mental illnesses such as depression, bipolar disorder, PTSD, schizoaffective disorder and schizophrenia. Over and over they would say to me “well you’re normal, you don’t get it”. I started to question, what exactly is normal and how do we define it for ourselves?